16th June 2024

On this Sunday morning, 5 AM as I reflect on the past few years & especially past months to witness my personal growth, I feel immensely grateful.

Life has been incredibly beautiful so far with its ups and downs. I won’t deny at some point with its constant challenges one after the other I have certainly felt like hitting rock bottom time and again.

However, by navigating its ebbs and flows, I have not only acquired valuable experiences which will only help me further in forging my soul’s path but I have also found myself closer to my true self than ever before.

It was not an easy journey to get here, and I believe this is true for anyone due to the challenges of living in the 21st century – with social media, the fast-paced lifestyle, and societal expectations being major distractions. These external factors often lead us away from our true selves, and we try to fill the internal void with external means. 

For me, experiencing calm state of mind was a result of various factors, including not so pleasant life experiences and prolonged periods of pain and disappointment. I see these experiences as catalysts that have guided me towards personal growth and transformation. Instead of viewing them as obstacles, I see them as opportunities to recalibrate my path. 

And of course, efforts with meditation, therapy, yoga, journaling, doing shadow work, connecting with nature, traveling, reading self-help books, maintaining a healthy lifestyle – just basics of it -good sleep, healthy food, and consistent exercise, working on developing my spiritual belief system (faith, surrender, and acceptance), deleting social media especially – Facebook and Instagram.

But the true essence of everything was found in solitude, kind of becoming a hermit. That’s exactly what I want to share through this blog post.

My experience with solitude, in reflecting its beauty, introspective nature, and potential for growth and self-discovery. 

It is often the case that the life we plan for ourselves undermines our greatest potential. And through spending time alone, I was able to reconnect with myself. 

As I recollect, moving from India to Dubai in 2016 was my first step towards solitude … Leaving behind familiar surroundings and venturing into an uncertain and unknown terrain felt isolating at the time. Fast forward to today 2024, I am immensely grateful for the insight it brought me. This space allowed me to truly experience the beauty of solitude in its own pace.

I cannot say that I immediately enjoyed being alone from the beginning. Like any old habit, it took time for me to find comfort in my own company. At first, I filled the void with things, people, and activities, driven by a compulsion to do so. 

After all, no one is accustomed to facing their own emptiness. But when the external noise quieted down, I had no choice but to confront myself. This was when all of my past emotions, which I had tried to ignore under the context of being practical and moving on with life, resurfaced. However, it was through this process that I truly discovered myself.

20th-century psychoanalyst Dr. Donald Winnicott called a false self :

“When fear of solitude makes us dependant on others we become overly complaint out of fear of abandonment and thus build up what Winnicott called a false self that is our personality becomes a mere reflex of how we believe what others want us to be.

It is in developing the capacity to be alone that the false self can be broken down thought when it is caught rendering us able to rediscover our true self.

Which means discovering our authentic needs and feelings in the modern day.

This is when one can forge his/her character away from the constricting external demands of others. “

Embracing solitude has brought me many benefits, including:

• Nurturing my individuality by freeing me from external voices and influences. This has allowed me to truly listen to my inner voice
• Led to self-discovery, providing me with clarity on who I am, what I want in life, and my strengths and flaws
• Taught me self-compassion, allowing me to be more loving and accepting of myself
• Helped me learn to be more accepting of life as it is, rather than constantly trying to change it to fit my own narrative
• This has brought me a sense of contentment and peace, while also allowing me to work towards my future goals
• In the quiet moments of solitude, I have found space to be more creative and work towards my life goals

Ultimately, embracing solitude has brought me a sense of purpose.

Trying to love and accept oneself is a personal struggle that no one else can assist with. It is something that each individual must work on themselves. 

It is important to consider that our darker aspects often come to the surface and make themselves known, so extended periods of solitude may not always be beneficial. 

Additionally, assuming that everyone enjoys solitude is not a fair assumption either, as some may find it overwhelming. Personally, I try to balance solitude with engaging with the external world in a healthy manner.

Quotes, I resonate with:

“Solitude is not the absence of company, but the movement when our soul is free to speak to us and help us decide what to do with our life”- Paulo Coelho

“In the moments of solitude, we discover the power of our thoughts. It grants us the freedom to venture into unexplored realms of independent thinking, where the beauty of an original perspective awaits us  ”

“My solitude has made me realize a few things-

People come and go, there are only a few meant to stay

My health and well-being come first, everything else can wait

Everything can be solved with little patience and little time.  ⁃  R m drake”